


Love Me Do

by destielschildren



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Destiel - Freeform, F/M, High School AU, M/M, love me do
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-05
Updated: 2013-10-05
Packaged: 2017-12-28 12:42:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/992138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destielschildren/pseuds/destielschildren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The blossoming relationship between Castiel Novak and Dean Winchester ruptures through the consternation of showing how much they really mean to each other. In this tragedy their sexuality is questioned by the world as they try to defy it and they hold on to what they have left, each other. In Love Me Do the transpiring love becomes violated and confounded as their love perishes in the fire of their hearts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The following situations and characters are fictional. Similarities between this and the real events are coincidental and not purposely intended offensive or appropriate to the subjects they have been adapted to for these particular circumstances.
> 
> Readers could encounter sensitive subjects such as, homosexuality, alcoholism, violence and Depression.
> 
> Contains references of a sexual nature and strong language.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 1  


 

“And, in the end  
The love you take  
is equal to the love you make.”

― Paul McCartney, The Beatles

 

 

**September 1980**

Cas adjusted his sweater in which he had tucked into his pants, it was the start of a new term and Cas was finally a Junior. Each year his mother would drag him and his little sister and older brother out of school and move to another state so they could get ‘the best educational experience’. He had just moved from Chicago to the town of Calabasas just outside of Los Angeles.. He was only sixteen and had lived in half the state already, his little sister Anna didn’t know what was going on half of the time and carried on her days colouring over his mothers work sheets and spitting up all over the satin rug. Michael, Cas’ older brother had just finished school and had left to go to university over in Alabama so he didn’t have to put up with his mother’s irrationality.

“Hurry up Castiel, or you’ll be late!” His mother, Hester shouted up the stairs and her voice echoed down the hall to Cas’ room.

“Just a second!” Cas yelled back, rolling up the sleeves on his sweater.

 He wanted to make a good impression like he did every year at each school, even if the impressions meant nothing as he was leaving at the end of the semester. He swiped his ruck sack under his arm and slung it onto his back. He walked out into the hall way and could smell the pancakes his mom had cooked him that he didn’t have time to eat. He didn’t want to eat anyway, he was nervous which was rare, but he felt like something bad was going to happen.

“Here’s your lunch,” his mother handed him a small brown bag and kissed him on the head, “Drive safely and I’ll see you when you get home.”

He squeezed the brown bag as he walked out to his dad’s truck. Technically it was now Cas’ truck as his father passed away on New Year’s Eve due to a car accident. Cas always liked to walk due to paranoia from the accident but since he could drive he thought he should at least try for the first part of the semester.

He turned on the radio as he reversed off the drive watching his mother wave him off. _Why does she have to be so embarrassing?_ Cas thought to himself as he proceeded driving down the road. She had always babied him but since he lost his dad she started to treat Cas like even more of a baby than Anna and she is two! The Beatles came onto the radio and Cas tapped his index finger along the rim of the steering wheel. Cas thought of The Beatles as an iconic band, and that every song they wrote guided Cas through life, he owned every single record they made.

He came down to a holt as huddles of kids crossed to road to the school gate, Cas could tell immediately that this school was full of Cliques and he knew that he would be placed with the ‘nerds’ like every year. Cas turned the ignition off and pulled out his mirror. He watched his finger trace over every pour on his face and re-arrange his hair. Cas swung his door open and hopped out scuffing the sides of his new leather boots. As he began walking up the steps to the main entrance he noticed a lot of people staring, Cas’ paranoia kicked in all sorts of thoughts rushing through his head and he made himself dizzy. He slowly pulled out an orange pot and removed two pills from inside swallowing them hastily to make sure no one saw.

“Hi, I’m Gabriel.” A guy with brown scruffy hair interceded Cas’ trace making him jump. “You must be Castiel Novak right? The new guy? I’m the eyes and ears of this place so stick with me.” He poked the bridge of his glasses back onto his face and handed Cas a map.

“Call me Cas.” Cas hesitated before taking the map and took a step backwards relieving himself from the close bond. “I think I can find my way round, but thanks.”

Cas walked around Gabriel, he didn’t want to be made a fuss over on his first day, he didn’t want to be made a fuss of at all, it was futile. He found his way to room 10B and sat down in a vacant seat right at the front. The bell rang and slowly people started entering the class room.

“Good Morning Students. And welcome back to Calabasas High. You are finally Juniors, so you better start acting like one. Balthazar.” The teacher scouted her eyes to the back of the class room, to a boy with his feet on the desk, Cas presumed Balthazar.

“And what a better way to start the term with a new student.” Miss Harvelle leaned over Cas’ desk. “This is Cas everyone, Cas would you like to tell us something about yourself?”

Cas’ throat went dry. “N-N-No thanks.” He peered down avoiding embarrassment.

“Sorry I’m late miss.” A young girl with long blonde hair advanced into the room and revolved her bag on the table next to Cas’ before sitting down.

“Ah, Meg. How nice of you to finally join us.” Miss Harvelle veered off into conversation with another student.

“Hi I’m Meg.” Meg leaned over to Cas’, her chewing gum rotating in her mouth and she stowed her hand out for Cas to shake.

“Cas.” He shook her hand and looked away.

“Cas, huh. Castiel Novak?” Meg raised her eyebrow.

“H-How did you know that?” Cas sceptically looked back at Meg.

“My pal Gabriel hasn’t stopped going on about you all summer. Apparently you and him are quite alike. He saw a photo of you and immediately said ‘he’s queer’.” Meg smiled seriously at Cas.

“Excuse me?” His voice hollowed and he started blinking resultantly. “I am not Que-Gay. That’s a horrible word to use.”

“Oh gosh, I am sorry. I feel terrible now. Gabriel is pretty good with his gay-dar; I guess he actually went wrong this time.” Meg sauntered away and started texting, obviously to Gabriel.

The first 3 periods went well; Cas had adjusted to his new time table and students in his class. He didn’t make any friends; he just conversed with people, that’s all he was good at. At lunchtime he walked into the cafeteria completely oblivious to the amount of people and tables imbued with starved teenagers eager to eat.

“Cas! Over here!” A recognised voice shouted across the cafeteria. It was Gabriel. He had stood up and was waving his arms in the air like a disorientated child.

Cas slowly shuddered over, clutching his tray as people playing catch shouldered into him. Cas placed his tray on the table and slotted in between Gabriel and Meg.

“Cas, this is Chuck, Naomi, Garth, Charlie and you know Meg.” Gabriel smiled nudging Cas’ arm slightly.

They all started talking about something Cas had no interest in and his eyes wandered elsewhere. He looked over to the windows looking outside and watched as five strapping guys walked in wearing matching hoodies.

“W-Who are they?” Cas stuttered staring at them.

“The Winchesters and their crew.” Charlie sighed, staring mesmerizingly at them.

“They are part of the football team. They kind of keep to themselves but they have evil written all over them.” Chuck grunted, snapping his carrot stick in half. “They’re bullies.”

“The tall one with the shaggy hair at the front is Sam Winchester; he’s a junior but sticks with the Seniors and his brother, he is like the wing man of the team. The other four are Ash, Alastair, Gordon and Harry, they also think they are scary and intimidating, they just follow the crowd.” Garth looked down at his tray, avoiding eye contact with anyone.

Cas turned round even more, getting a better look at the boys who claim to ‘run the school’ he noticed a sixth person slowly hiking towards them in huge biker boots. Cas’ mouth dropped as he scanned his way up the guy’s body.

“And um, who is he?” Cas slumped his face onto the palm of his hand.

“That is Dean Winchester, totally gorgeous, obviously. But apparently nobody here is good enough for him.”  Naomi moaned, glaring at him.

“Not me anyway.” Meg laughed, lifting her feet onto the table as she leaned back in her chair.

Cas turned his head again slightly and looked at Dean sat down with the rest of the Jocks. Cas blinked and before he knew it Dean was looking, straight at him. Cas didn’t know whether to smile or look away. But he couldn’t do either; his eyes were so hypnotically beautiful that he didn’t want to look away. Dean’s facial expression turned from neutral to somewhat exasperated and Cas promptly turned back to his table.

“I wouldn’t even bother trying to converse with any of them Cas, they all look down on people like us. They treat us like shit, like a piece of dirt stuck to their shoe” Gabriel smiled as reassuringly as possible.

“I wasn’t planning on it.” Cas cowardly looked back at Dean just as he was looking away.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was the end of the day and Cas felt exhausted. At least he had made some friends. He slowly paced over to his truck and rummaged through his bag for his keys.

“C’mon, Come on!” Cas panicked.

“Looking for something?” A deep husky voice appeared from behind him and he heard the rattle of his keys.

“Oh thank yo-” Cas paused; He was staring into the eyes of Dean Winchester.

“Y-You ok?” Dean frowned at Cas.

“Um yeah sorry. Thank you so much.”

“No worries. Try not the drop them next time.” Dean leaned back and scanned the car park before leaning back in. “Nice ride.” Dean smacked his hand onto the back of the truck.

“Thanks. It was my dad’s.”

“Oh yeah, My impala’s my dad’s too.” Dean cornered his car on the other side of the lot. “I wouldn’t have come over here but I saw you drop your keys so I thought it would be courteous of me to return them.”

“Thanks.” Cas clutched his bag to his chest. “Umm I need to-”

“Yeah, I should be going too. I hope you had a good first day. I’m Dean by the way.” He held out his hand.

Cas’ mouth went dry, as he looked at Dean’s hand reluctantly.

“What’s wrong? Never seen a hand before?” Dean laughed putting his hand in his pocket.

“Sorry. My head is in another place this afternoon. I’m Castiel.”

“Well goodbye, Castiel.” Dean started walking backwards smirking and swivelled round towards his car.

Cas watched Dean walk all the way to his car, he felt spell bound. Like Dean had some hold over him that he couldn’t let go. He got into his car and slouched against the seat sighing.

“I think I’m going to like it here.”

 

 

* * *

  

The rest of the week passed by expeditiously, Cas continued cowering through the corridors bracing himself for shoulder barges and having people repress his feet. Him and Dean would make eye contact whenever possible, if they crossed in the hall Dean would purposefully jaunt into him, or so Cas thought. They never spoke though, the urge for Cas to talk to him shielded his brain all day, sometimes he’d find himself day dreaming in the middle of class about Dean. Cas would never want to admit that he found another man attractive but Dean was so over powering that Cas wouldn’t say no if inquired.

Saturday night Lisa Braeden, one of the most popular girls in school was having a party. She invited all the seniors and nearly all the juniors, including Cas. Cas had never been invited to a party before and so was irresolute as to what the night might entail but knew that Dean would be going, which meant a conversation opportunity.

He reached the drive way of Lisa’s house and could already hear the music from around the block. Students were dispersed all over her front yard; some were drinking, others passing out from over intoxication and of course sexual exertion. Cas dis-regarded everyone he passed and kept his focus on the front door, before knocking he dislodged the orange container of pills from his back pocket and swallowed two. These pills were the only thing keeping him sociable, or he’d be stuck with his head in a book somewhere. Cas analysed what he was wearing, he scowled at the mud and grass stuck to his shoe, he decided not to bring the car as he knew he was drinking and ended up taking short cuts through fields.

Cas rotated the handle on the door and slowly impelled it forward; he pushed himself through the gap and swiftly shut the door behind him. Lisa’s house was beautiful, her marble floors and staircase expatriated every other item of furniture in the house and there were people everywhere.

“Castiel. Castiel over here!” Gabriel shouted from the grand piano on the other side of the room.

Cas slithered in and out of all the inebriated students slowly, keeping his eye on Gabriel in the distance.

“Isn’t this great?” Gabriel handed Cas a plastic cup and withdrew a flask from the inside of his shirt. “This will make it greater!” Gabriel giggled as he poured what appeared to be whiskey into Cas’ cup.

“I suppose so.” Cas swirled the cup round, sniffing the contents of it before consuming the alcohol. “God what is this?”

Cas coughed and he could feel his chest go warm with the asperous liquid tingling the back of his throat.

“My very own cocktail. More?” Gabriel tapped the flask in his pocket and raised his brow.

“I’m good thanks.”

“Hey sugar.” Meg appeared in front of Cas and stroked his arm. She held a beer out to him. “I thought you’d prefer something mellower than the shit tasting liquid Gabe has.”

“Thanks.” Cas took the bottle off of her and pushed his fingers through his hair now becoming damp with the sweat coming from his scalp.

After playing drinking games for what felt like hours Cas stumbled to the bathroom and locked the door as he sunk against it. He placed his hands on the edge of the sink and fingered through his hair. He turned on the tap and filled his hands up with water before soaking his face. He was actually having fun and although he hadn’t seen Dean, he didn’t care, he had actually made friends that enjoyed being with him and he wasn’t going to let that ruin his night.

There was a sudden knock on the door and Cas jumped back abruptly.

“Someone’s in here!” Cas shouted, hoping they would go away.

“Castiel, Is that you? It’s Meg, open the door!”

Cas adjusted his outfit before reluctantly doing as she asked. “Hey you.” Cas awkwardly placed his beer behind him.

“I’ve been looking for you. Come dance with me?” Meg placed her hands behind her back and stared promisingly at Cas. “Please!”

Cas hated dancing, but he loved Meg and the friendship that they had. He didn’t want to disappoint her, no matter how drunk she was.

“Fine.” Cas jokingly sighed, leaving his beer on the side.

Meg grabbed his hand and led him to the equidistant part of the room. She pushed her hair behind her ear and reached up, wrapping her arms around his neck, squeezing the pours on his neck with the tips of her fingers. Cas didn’t know what to do, his pulse was raised and he started to sweat even more, he felt uncomfortable; he had no idea how to operate around girls. He gently placed his hands on her hips and slowly slid them round her waist to her back where he lightly settled his fingers.

“You seem a little nervous Cas.” Meg started stroking the back of his neck lightly.

“I-I’m fine. It’s just really hot in here.” Cas gulped, his throat had been continuously dry since drinking Gabriel’s cocktail.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll cool you down.”

Meg jerked closer to Cas; he could smell the perfume lingering on her neck which made him vertiginous. She looked into his eyes, hers agleam at the sight of his, her lips were cherry red and looked inviting but Cas couldn’t. He didn’t know what was going on, he had never been in this position before, his vision had accumulated distortion and he started to feel a little wheezy.

“I don’t know what was in Gabriel’s drink but I don’t feel so good. I’m sorry.” Cas went to let go of Meg’s waist when she wrung her fingers through his hair tugging each strand.

“Kiss me Cas.” Meg bit her lip seductively. “You know you want to.”

Meg pulled Cas’ head down so their brows were touching. Cas could feel her warm breath condensing onto his damp face. Her lips were skimming his. “I can’t.” Cas whispered and pulled himself away from her with an unbelievable strength. “I’m sorry.” Cas conjectured walking backwards into the depths of other drunken dancers.

“Cas!” Meg shouted, stropping her arms to her side. She stared as she watched Cas move swiftly to the front door.

Cas pulled out his pills briskly and tried to open the pot. His fingers were so soggy from sweat they flew out of his hand onto the drive way.

“For fuck sake.” Cas’ head was spinning, he was so confused. It’s not that he didn’t like Meg, because he did, he didn’t feel attracted to her, he felt like he was already owned by someone else and didn’t want to be unfaithful. He scanned the drive way for his pills, taking no notice of the people lingering around her lawn.

Cas looked up into the sky and took a breath, finally he was cooling down. He raised his arm and wiped away all of the sweat from his fore head. He felt more at ease now that he was alone and had a normal body temperature again.

“I’m guessing these are yours?” A recognised voice arose from behind Cas. “I have a habit of finding your belongings.”

Cas knew it was Dean and turned around smirking. “It’s almost like something wants you to end up talking to me.”

“Other than myself?” Dean took a step closer to Cas. “I just happen to be in the right place at the right time.”

Cas’ lips went dry as he stared deeper into Dean’s eyes. Cas forgot about what happened with Meg when he saw Dean.

“I was just heading home actually.” Cas admired what Dean was wearing visually. “Meg tried it on with me and I-It just doesn’t feel right.”

“Girls not your type then?” Dean cocked his head and pursed his lips expecting an immediate answer from Cas.

“Erm I guess not, no. I mean I don’t really know.”

“It’s ok. I know how it feels; I was the same your age.” Dean placed a hand on Cas’ shoulder.

“You make me sound like a child, like you’re patronizing me.” Cas started to turn around and walk down the drive way until he reached the sidewalk.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to sound that way, but I do know what it’s like.” Dean paced alongside him. “I know what it’s like to look at a stunning girl and not feel attracted. I know that when you look at a guy, you punish yourself because you like it, but you don’t want to.”

“You don’t even know me.” Cas took his pills and put them into his pocket.

“I know a lot about you though. From observation.” Dean paused to look Cas up and down. “Do you want me to walk you home?”

“No don’t worry about it, I’ll be fine.” Cas turned and started to walk secretly hoping Dean would follow.

“Never know what’s lurking in the dark at this time.” Dean pulled a playful smile; Cas knew he was trying to tease him.

“If you insist.” Cas continued walking not looking at Dean. “Can I ask you a question?”

Dean nodded and embedded his hands into his pockets.

“My friends told me about how much of a bully you are and how you treat people like me like shit. So why are you being nice?” Cas gazed at his watch to see it was 12.45am, later than he thought.

“Well, I guess you could say it’s because I like you.” Dean smiled at the ground and Cas felt warm inside. “My friends might not feel the same way but I certainly do like you, a lot actually.”

“Why would you like me? I’m a loser; I bet you have girls begging for your dick all the time.” Cas laughed to himself, which slowly faded. _Why would such a popular guy be interested in me?_ Cas thought to himself. Cas also felt happy because he now knew that the way he felt was being returned to him.

“You’re not a loser, and as far as I’m aware the only girl to beg for my dick is Lisa, who says I like that anyway? Nobody’s perfect Cas, it has taken me a long time to accept who I am and my sexuality and when I feel like I have the potential to maybe be with someone I like –” He paused and swallowed hard, before turning his head to look at Cas. “I’m not just going to stand here.”

Cas stopped on the corner by his house. “Just admit that you’re queer.” Dean puckered slowly.

“Please don’t use that word. I hate it.” Cas looked down at his feet and took a step backward towards a tree. “I don’t know if I’m gay.”

“Do you want to find out?”

“Clearly I do but, I don’t know how.” Cas’ voice went all soft, like he was going to cry.

“I’ll show you.” Dean whispered, looking around to make sure no one was about.

Dean took a step forward to Cas, Cas could now smell his oak wood burning scent and it was wonderful. Cas’ heart was throbbing in his chest and it made him scared. Dean placed his right hand gently onto Cas’ cheek and stroked the side of his face. Leaning in Dean’s lips wrapped round Cas’, after a few seconds he released and stood back.

“That was umm- my first kiss.” Cas looked down veiling himself blushing.

“How did it feel?”

Cas didn’t want to answer, he wanted to kiss Dean again and harder, so he did. He gripped his fingers around the back of his head and Cas pulled Dean towards him. Their lips interlocked and Dean slid his tongue insides Cas’ mouth, caressing the inside of his mouth softly. Cas placed his tongue alongside Dean’s and too soothed Dean’s mouth. Dean pressed his fingers firmly onto Cas’ hips and kissed his harder, Cas moved with him leaning backwards with Dean’s head. The laughs of drunken teenagers came from behind them, startling Dean who jumped back off of Cas in retaliation.

“I guess you liked it then?” Dean grinned, biting his lip.

“I really liked it, and I would want to do it again.” Cas’ voice was breathy. “I better get inside though, it’s late. Thank you for walking me home!”

“I’m sure you can do it again. I’ll see you around.”

Dean’s lips parted and he leaned down to kiss Cas delicately on the lips.

 

* * *

 

 

Cas squinted his eyes open at the array of light peering through his blinds. He sat up and stretched before smiling to himself. He dreamt of Dean all night, he dreamt that they went to the beach and Cas watched as Dean played in the sea like a little boy. He couldn’t stop mediating about what had happened only a few hours ago, he felt like it didn’t even happen but he knew he wanted to do it again. Cas got up out of bed before stumbling to the bathroom and settling his head over the toilet. He shouldn’t have drank last night.

“Castiel, are you ok sweetie?” Hester poked her head round the door before walking in. She sat down next to him and began rubbing his back. “I knew you would’ve drank too much, this is why I don’t like you going to parties Cas, I had this trouble with Michael all the time.”

“Not in the mood right no-” He heaved into the toilet, gripping the sides of the bowl. “Now.” He sighed breathing for air.

“Did you take your pills?” Hester stood up and walked out of the room, returning with a glass of water.

“Not yet, I took quite a lot last night.” Cas took the water and sipped it quickly.

“You should only take them when you need to Castiel. I’m going to be out for most of the day with Anna, are you going to be ok?”

Cas nodded, swallowing the last of the water. Hester then exited shutting the door behind her. Cas loved his mom to bits but she was always  a worrier, no wonder Michael couldn’t wait to leave the house. All he did was drink and be sick.

Cas leisurely crept back to his room and lay on his bed. Cas was then awoken to light taps on his window. He must’ve drifted off whilst thinking about going to get food. Cas stood up and walked over to his window, he lifted up his blind to see Dean throwing pebbles. Dean smiled biting his tongue and Cas shook his head in amusement. Cas lifted the window up and leaned out.

“Hi.” Dean graciously smiled.

“Hi Dean.” Cas sighed romantically. “What are you doing here?” Cas rubbed the goose bumps on his bare chest.

“Well, I thought I’d come see you. If that’s ok.” Dean’s eyes went soft and his lips parted. “Now throw on a shirt and come out here.” He laughed, dropping the rest of the pebbles onto the floor.

Cas quickly pulled on a t-shirt from his drawer and slipped his tennis shoes on. He skipped down the stairs and departed through the back door.

“Dean. Come this way? We can walk up into the forest.” Cas climbed over the fence to where Dean was standing now adjacent to his bedroom window.

Cas toddled towards Dean and leaned in for a kiss.

“Woah, Woah wait. Not in front of places ok. What if someone see’s?” Dean pulled himself backwards cautiously looking around.

“It’s fine, my mom is out.”

“I mean, other people. Wait until we’re out of sight.” Dean sauntered past Cas. “Now where’s this forest you were talking about?” Dean smiled reaching out his hand for Cas to latch onto.

Cas loved his new house, it was beautifully designed inside and out. At the back of his house a path lead up into a forest which looked out over the Town, Cas would often position himself on a log up there and read whilst overlooking the beautiful landscape. After pacing up the mountain for about 5 minutes of talking about how ill Cas was, Cas finally halted Dean and hollered him over to a huge log that had been knocked over.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Cas smiled at the view. “Someone cut down the trees and left an amazing view in its place.”

“Yeah. It is something.” Dean turned his head to look at the passion in Cas’ eyes.

Cas turned towards Dean and gently kissed his lips.

“Ok so sit, let’s talk.” Cas hauled Dean down to sit on the log next to him.

“About what?” Dean obtained a confused look on his face.

“Well we hardly know each other. We both found out we were gay and kissed that was it, I want to know about you.”

“Oh ok well let’s see.” Dean fluttered his eyes. “My mother and father both died in a fire when me and my brother Sammy were young and we were brought up by my dad’s best friend Bobby. I drag race and work in a garage to make money.”

“Hang on.” Cas interrupted. “I’m so sorry that you didn’t have your parents around when you were younger, that must have been awful. You drag race?”

“Yeah I’ve been doing it for several years now, I get loads of money from it, I’m always the favourite to win… you should come watch me sometime.” Dean smiled, interlocking his fingers between Cas’.

“What if you get hurt? That’s so dangerous. I hate cars.” Cas shuddered and looked at his fingers conjoined with Dean’s.

“How could you hate cars?” Dean starting laughing hysterically. “They’re one of the best inventions on this fucking planet!”

“My dad died in a car accident. That’s why I hate cars.” Cas stood up and walked closer to the edge of the forest. “It wasn’t his fault though. The other driver didn’t see him an-” Cas got choked up.

“Hey.” Dean rushed over to Cas and lifted his chin. “I’m sorry Cas, I am so sorry. How old were you?”

“Fifteen. He died on New Year’s Eve.”

“At least you knew your dad, I don’t have any memories of my mother and father at all. It’s like I never had parents. But in a way that’s better because I don’t have the memories of losing them.”  A single tear slid down Cas’ cheek and landed on Dean’s thumb. Dean kissed the line of water on Cas’ cheek and then his lips. “Where ever your dad is, I’m sure he’s so proud of you Cas.” Dean kissed him again and this time the kiss lasted.

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck pulling their bodies together.

“You’re amazing.” Dean whispered. Cas’ insides melted at the sound of Dean’s voice. There was something about his voice that calmed Cas down. It made him feel warm and protected, he knew now that he really liked Dean and Dean appeared to feel the same way.

Dean and Cas spoke for hours about each other’s lives, they talked about birthdays and holidays. They rumbled about their hates and passions. They palavered about their future aspirations and where they saw themselves in ten years’ time. Cas felt like he had known Dean his whole life and not a week, Dean was the only person who had ever understood Cas and his emotions, Cas had never felt this comfortable with a person in his entire life and it was magical and different. Just like Dean.

Cas jumped up the next morning as soon as his alarm went off. He put on a sweater, skinny jeans and his boots before strolling down the stairs to the kitchen.

“Morning Mother!” Cas grinned and hugged Hester from behind.

“Hey, you. What do you want?” Hester raised an eyebrow at Cas, he was never this friendly with his mom since his dad died.

“Nothing, I’m just in a really great mood!” Cas sat down at the table and helped himself to breakfast.

For the first time in a long time Cas was actually elated with joy and it was because of Dean. Cas had such an amazing weekend with Dean, and desired to have many more days like that. He had no idea what to expect of Dean at school though, Dean is one of the popular kids and Cas… not so much. He was the kind of kid to get throttled into a locker and be threatened to have his lunch money stolen.

Cas pulled up to school after singing along to his favourite Beatles cassette in the car, The Beatles filled Cas’ life with captivating inclination, they helped him get through his rough stage after his dad passing and saved him from self – immolation. Although they are an English band they are influential all around the world which made Cas dream to be as successful as them and change people’s lives. They were almost as important to him as Dean was.

Cas bailed out of his truck and walked cheerfully up to the entrance smiling his whole way.

“Hey you!” Gabriel jumped out from behind him. “Where did you get off to on Saturday, you missed a great party man.”

“Oh you know, I just felt a bit ill and went home, parties aren’t exactly my scene.” Cas squinted at the floor. Even though Gabriel was a friend he sure did piss Cas off sometimes, the way he was persistent on standing so close to Cas that he could feel the warm of his body on his own.

“No worries, apparently she is having another party for Christmas.” Gabriel struggled for conversation. “What happened with Meg? She was terribly upset after you left.”

“You know what Gabe.” Castiel stepped in front of Gabriel. “I’m in a great mood, can we not talk about this right now... Please?”

Gabriel nodded and Cas turned around walking to class. He walked down the corridor and could see Dean stood with his friends. Dean turned to look at Cas and smiled slightly, Cas beamed back.

“Who the fuck is that dork smiling at you Dean?” Ash laughed, leaning against a locker.

“I have no idea.” Dean rolled his eyes. Dean didn’t want to act this way, he just wanted to run up to Cas and wrap his arms around him but he knew he couldn’t. Not in public.

“Hey you! What the fuck you looking at?” Sam shouted at Cas with his arm around his girlfriend’s shoulder, Jess.

“Umm, I –” Cas terrified jolted back towards the other side of the hall. “N-n-n-nothing.” He stuttered, he felt so intimidated by all these big figures.

“You got a problem.” Gordon walked up to Cas so he was in his face. “I’ll give you a problem.”

“N-n-no p-please.” Cas shuddered under his haunting face. Gordon seemed to tower of him, it made him feel so small.

“Gord, just leave him man, he isn’t worth it.” Dean walked over pulling Gordon away.

“I’m watching you shorty.” Gordon stared down Cas.

“I’m so sorry.” Dean mouthed to Cas.

Cas quickly walked on holding back the tears in his eyes. One reason he always moved school was from bullying, he always ended up on the wrong side of bullies some way or another. Maybe he should’ve stayed with Gabriel and had some protection.

Dean watched Cas walk on in silence while The others bad mouthed Cas. Dean felt so bad, he didn’t want Cas to be treated this way but he knew it would end up worse one way or another.

“Excuse me.” Dean said walking through the group and started following Cas to the toilets.

Cas barged into the toilet doors and rummaged in his bag for his pills. “Please, please, please!” Cas begged before pulling out the pot. He chased two pills down with a handful of water from the tap.

“Cas. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for that - ” Dean paused, his face oppressive.

“It’s fine Dean, honestly, you didn’t do anything it’s fine.”

“I didn’t mean for – ”

“Dean.” Cas disrupted. “Don’t beat yourself up over it.” Cas walked towards Dean and kissed him on the cheek before walking out.

Cas managed to avoid everyone he didn’t want to see until lunchtime. He considered sitting in the toilets but didn’t want to be so dramatic over something so small. Cas took his tray and sat down next to Gabriel and his friends. Cas watched as Meg started walking over with her tray and hesitated before turning around.

“Meg!” Cas shouted. He signalled her to come over, and she did.

“Hi.” Meg said wistfully. “I’m really sorry about the other night, I was so drunk.”

“It’s fine Meg. I didn’t mind, it was funny.” They both laughed and started eating their lunch.

Every now and then Cas would look over to Dean and his friends, every time he looked, Dean would be staring right back at him. Cas noticed one of the guys knock Gordon and point over to Cas’ table.

“Oi. Shorty!” Gordon stood up and paced over to Cas. “You say you don’t got a problem. Then why do you keep staring.”

“I- I.” Cas stammered, he always stuttered when he was scared, making him look more like a softy.

“Back off!” Meg arose into Gordon’s face.

“What did you just say to me.” Gordon stood back astounded by Meg’s bravery.

“I said back off!” She poked Gordon in the stomach. “Cas has done nothing wrong, so don’t go picking on him to make yourself look big. Ok!” She smiled sarcastically as Gordon backed off.

“You better thank you girlfriend I didn’t hit you there and then.” Gordon bitterly spat as he walked away.

“What a fucking asshole.” Meg said sitting back down next to Cas. “Ignore him, he’s the worst out of all of them. If he gives you trouble again let me and Balthazar know, we’ll sort him out, wouldn’t be the first time.”

The fact that a girl had to stand up for Cas made him feel so weak and small, what kind of guy can’t stand up for himself. _Me, clearly._ Cas thought to himself. Cas just hoped that Meg would be around if ever something like that happened again.

“ _Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away…”_ Cas hummed to himself whilst in the car on the way home. “ _Suddenly I’m not half the man I used to be…yesterday came suddenly.”_ This song always calmed Cas down. After all he had been threatened by one of Dean’s ‘friends’. He didn’t even get to speak to Dean properly, he was too shook up.

“Hi sweetie. Still in a good mood?” Hester simpered as Cas walked through the door.

“No.” Cas stormed upstairs, slamming him bedroom door behind him.

He sat on his bed and leaned his head into his hands sighing loudly. The next thing he knew, he heard light taps on his window. _Dean._ He thought, getting up. He opened the window and leaned out.

“Hi Dean.” Cas’ heart jumped, he suddenly forgot about what happened earlier.

“Come down? I brought my cassette player and a picnic to cheer you up.” Dean smiled, lifting up a brown basket.

“I got a better idea.” Cas shut his window and walked downstairs. “Mom, Can my friend come in?”

“Sure sweet, will he be staying for dinner?” Hester peeped her head around the kitchen door.

“No we got it covered.” Cas opened the front door and commanded Dean inside. “Mom, this is my friend Dean.”

“Hi Dean.” Hester waved. “It’s lovely to meet you, it’s nice to know Cas finally has a friend.”

“Mom.” Cas gave Hester a stern look.

“Ok I’m going. Don’t be too loud your sister is sleeping.”

Dean held onto Cas’ hand as he led him upstairs to his room. Dean walked in and placed his basket onto Cas’ bed, glancing around the room. Dean studied Cas’ room, looking at his posters, tapes and vinyl’s. He walked over to Cas’ book shelf and dragged his finger along Cas’ collection before extracting one.

“Fear of Flying. Really?” Dean chuckled. “Didn’t have you as a feminist kind of guy.”

“What? It was brilliantly written.” Cas laughed.

Dean’s eyes went soft, he paced over to Cas pushing him against his door before kissing him roughly. Cas placed his arms around Dean’s neck and squeezed his neck with the tips of his fingers. Dean pinned Cas against and door and began kissing down his neck, the wetness of his lips made the surface of Cas’ skin warm and tender. Cas’ groaned and pulled his head backwards. Dean nipped at his skin before kissing up his neck, along his jaw line to his lips. Dean’s tongue entered Cas’ mouth and gently traced the outside of Cas’ tongue.

For the next few months Dean and Cas got into a routine. Cas would go to school and would try his hardest to ignore Dean and stay out of his way. Dean would pretend to not even notice Cas, he still gave him the odd nudge down the hall. Cas would avoid Gordon at all costs, even if he tried to start anything, Meg would get involved, making Gordon back off. After school Dean would come round and they would spend their afternoon, watching lame tv shows like Happy Days and Charlie’s Angels. They would lie on Cas’ bed and listen to The Beatles on replay, Dean would only listen to them to make Cas happy and see the infatuation and fascination in Cas’ eyes. Cas would lie in Dean’s arms while he stroked his hair back and played with his fingers. Then at the end of the night, Cas would watch Dean drive off into the darkness, wishing he was still lying beside him, staring into his beautiful green eyes. Cas finally came to terms that things were perfect and he didn’t want anything to change. 


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

 

 

 

“Who knows how long I've loved you,

you know I love you still.

Will I wait a lonely lifetime?

If you want me to I will.”

\- The Beatles

**December 8 th 1980**

Dean waited outside the front of school for Cas to pull up in his truck so they could have a quick kiss before school. But Cas never showed. Dean strolled into school scanning everywhere for Cas. _He could be having the day off or looking after his sister._ Dean reassured himself, for some reason Dean was stressed, he felt like something was wrong. He walked into homeroom and Sat at the back of the room behind Lisa.

“Hey Dean.” Lisa oscillated round and leaned on his desk. “Did you hear?” She fluttered her eye lashes.

“What?” Perturbed Dean leaned forward closer to Lisa.

“John Lennon was murdered.” Lisa inclined even closer to Dean.

“Shit, that’s awf-” With sudden realisation Dean rose velociously. “I have to go.” He grabbed his bag and headed out the door.

“Dean, you can’t just leave!” Lisa shouted.

Dean sprinted to his car and raced to Cas’ house. He pulled up on his drive way just as Hester was leaving.

“Oh Dean, I’m so glad you’re here, I didn’t want to leave Cas by himself in the state he’s in but I have work. He really needs a friend right now.” Hester slightly smiled.

“I drove here the second I heard ma’am.”

“Thanks Dean.” Hester’s arms slipped round Dean’s waist. “I’m so worried about him.”

Dean stroked her hair with his free hand. “He’ll be fine, I promise you.”

“You’re such a good guy. Cas really is lucky to have you as his best friend.” Hester walked past Dean down to her car.

Dean was scared for how Cas really was, he had never seen Cas sad before. He slowly walked up to the front door and opened it peering his head around the door. The house was silent other than the faint sound of music coming from Cas’ room. Dean calmly walked up the marble stairs, step by step. Dean knocked on the door quietly.

“Cas?” Dean whispered. “You in there?” There was no reply. “Baby?” Dean said slightly opening the door and glancing round.

Cas was on his bed, with his back facing the door. Dean could hear him sniffling. Dean knew how much The Beatles and each band member meant to Cas, Cas was quite clearly heart broken. It was shocking to see how much effect his death had of people, especially Cas.

“Cas. Please talk to me.” Dean started to sense his eyes filling with tears. “Got to be strong for Cas.” Dean breathed to himself as he blinked the tears away.

Cas stayed still. Dean could see his pot of pills of his bed side cabinet almost empty. Dean walked round the outside of Cas’ bed until he could see Cas’ face. Tears were streaming down Cas’ cheeks, a wet patch was obtrusive where Cas lay. Cas was staring at his boom box playing music.

“Cas. Please.” Dean sat on the side of Cas’ bed and placed his right hand on Cas’ back.

“Why?” Cas muttered. “Why did it have to happen?” Cas blinked as tears dropped down his face.

“I don’t know Cas. I’m sorry.” Dean’s eyes started filling up seeing Cas like this.

Cas abruptly sat up. “Why did it have to happen!?” Cas screamed through the tears. He plummeted up promptly grabbing his boom box and throwing it across the room. It smashed into pieces on Cas’ floor as well as denting his wall. Cas dropped to his knees and broke down into his hands.

Dean sunk down to Cas’ level and placed his mouth next to Cas’ ear. “It’s ok baby, I’m here.” Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, tighter than he ever had before. Dean started crying softly as Cas’ hands became more and more wet with the tears coming from his dismally grief-stricken blue eyes. They sat there for twenty minutes in silence. Dean gently rocked Cas and kissed his head.

 

* * *

 

Cas lay in Dean’s arms. He shrouded Dean’s waist with his arm whilst Dean played with Cas’ hair. Dean had his other arm protecting Cas’ hips like a child. Dean was disturbed at what he had just encountered, he was hurting inside for Cas. He could feel Cas’ pain, and it made him agonized. He felt feeble and debilitated, something he had never felt before and it was because of Cas. If Cas could make him this irresolute over something Dean didn’t have that much interest in, who knows what devastation he could cause Dean if he wanted to.

Cas lifted his head to look at Dean. “I’m sorry.” he sighed quietly. “I’m so, so sorry Dean. I’m such a... fucking idiot!”

“No, don’t apologize when you’ve done nothing wrong. You’re upset, you have every right to act like this.” Dean hushed at Cas.

“But I have no right to do this to you, or mom.” Cas sat up. “I’m selfish.”

“How are you?” Dean too sat up and cocked his head puzzled.

“There will be so many people all over the world as distraught as me but getting on with their day. Here I am sulking at home.” Cas crossed his legs and wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

“You just need time to take in the news, that’s all.” Dean lifted Cas’ head to look at him. “You’re so strong Cas. You might not think it but you are.”

Dean kissed Cas delicately on the lips and Cas kissed him back. Dean squeezed the back of his head and pulled him so he was laying on him again.

“You are an incredible human being Castiel. You can’t let the fact you’re upset tether you down to thinking you’re a dick. Because you’re not Cas. You’re not.” Dean grabbed both sides of Cas’ head. “Everyone has emotions and different ways of dealing with things, this is how you do it. Don’t punish yourself for being who you are. You’re amazing the way you are.”

“I- I-” Cas began. “Never mind.” Cas kissed Dean hard, so hard he could feel the cracks in Dean’s lips embed in his own and it felt satisfying.

Dean’s hands slid all the way down Cas’ back and dug into Cas’ hips. Cas kissed Dean one more time and lay next to him with one leg and arm crosswise Dean’s body. Dean kissed Cas’ head several times, before they both fell asleep.

They were later awoken by Hester knocking on the door. Dean opened his eyes sleepily and squinted before sitting up quickly. Dean admired Cas as he was sleeping, he looked so beautiful when dreaming.

“How is he?” Hester silently murmured as she walked in and kneeled on the floor next to where Cas was sleeping. “My poor boy.” She stroked his head and glanced over her shoulder. “What the hell happened here?”

“Cas got angry. He didn’t mean to. It was a reaction.”

“Such a silly boy sometimes. I couldn’t concentrate at work, I had to make sure he was ok. Has he eaten anything?”

“Not since I’ve been here no.”

“I’ll go make you boys some food then, wake him up for me?” Hester smiled as she stood up.

“I should go home. I need to make sure my brothers ok. But thank you anyway Hester.” Dean shyly smiled and stretched his arms.

“Thank you so much Dean. For taking care of him.”

“There’s nothing else I’d rather be doing.”

She walked out pulling the door to. Dean leaned down to Cas and kissed his cheek.

“I’m going now Cas, you look after yourself ok?” Dean felt like he was talking to himself, not that he wanted Cas to hear him. “I love you.” Dean dropped his forehead onto Cas’ head. “So much.” Dean kissed him one more time before leaving.

He ran down the stairs, straight to his car. “Shit.” He sighed, turning on the ignition. “Fuck!” He slammed his hands on the steering wheel.

When Dean got home Sam, Jess and Bobby were sat at the dining table.

“What time do you call this boy?” Bobby growled as Dean walked in.

“About ten past six.” Dean said sarcastically looking at his watch. “I’m not in the mood right now. Sorry Bobby.”

“You missed dinner again.” Bobby folded his arms. “What you doing out ‘til all hours?”

“None of your business, it’s not even late. I’m an adult anyway; I can do whatever the hell I want.” Dean stormed into the kitchen filling a glass with water.

“He’s got a girl.” Jess leaned towards Bobby.

“Oh really now?” Bobby raised his eyebrows.

“Who’s the girl dude?” Sam laughed.

“There is no fucking girl. Would you drop it.” Dean ambled to his room and slammed the door behind him.

“Idgit.”  Bobby sighed sipping his whiskey.

Dean fell onto his bed. He loved Cas. He _loved_ Cas. After being with Lisa for 2 years he never felt the way he did with Cas. Cas made him feel whole, prodigious, like he was actually significant. Dean would happily become open about his relationship with Cas but he was terrified. People who used to be scared of him would look at him like excess filth. Everyone would treat him like the callous human being he was. Dean leaned under his pillow and pulled out a packet of cigarettes, he removed one from the pack and stymied it to his lips. He removed some matches from his pocket and struck one which burst into an igneous orange flame. He put it at the end of his cigarette and inhaled as the start of the cigarette fizzled. Dean wasn’t a full time smoker, he would smoke when stressed or sad or if he was feeling something inside that he couldn’t describe. He toked the end of the fag and flicked the ash on to his carpet.

“Dean!” Sam called from the other room.

“What?” Dean yelled, taking another pull.

“Phone call.”

“Bring it here.” Dean exhaled and flicked the butt out of his open window.

Sam opened the door. “It’s Lisa.”

“Quick tell her I’m not here.”

“Too late. Sorry Dean.” Sam handed Dean the phone.

“For fuck sake… Hello?” Dean placed his ear to the phone and pushed Sam away.

“Dean? Hi It’s Lisa.”

“What a surprise. How come you’re calling?” Dean sat on his desk chair and spun round with his feet.

“I wanted to make sure you were ok. The way you stormed out earlier, I-”

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about it, I just forgot to.. turn.. the stove off.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“Oh.” Lisa paused, she was quite gullible so Dean hoped she believed him. “Can I ask you something?”

Dean’s throat went dry as he swallowed hard. “Sure.” _Oh god, does she know? She can’t know._ Dean panicked. “Go ahead.”

“I was wondering if you want to go to the Christmas ball with me. You are going aren’t you?” Her voice sounded abashed.

Dean couldn’t say no because he went to every other dance and ball with her. And if he told her he wasn’t going, she’d start a rumour for the vagary.

“Yeah definitely.” Dean said bluntly. “I’d love to.”

“Great. Well I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yep. Bye.” Dean hung up abruptly. He could no longer stand Lisa. She was the biggest bitch in the school.

Dean couldn’t take it any longer, he needed to tell someone he was gay. Someone he could trust with his life other than Cas. It was eating him up inside, making him feel miniscule and insignificant. After discovering his sexuality he had never felt the same, he looked at every beautiful girl with not a sign of inducement, when the day before he would chat up any girl with a pulse. Dean lit up another cigarette and walking into the living room.

“Bobby, Sam, get in here.” Dean shouted sitting down on the couch.

Sam and Bobby strolled in slowly looking at each other with turbulence and hesitation.

“What’s up Boy?” Bobby demanded.

“Just sit down.” Dean grumbled taking a drag. “I have something to tell you guys.”

Dean stubbed his cigarette out on the ashtray adjacent to him.

“But you both have to promise not to tell another living soul. Please.” Dean Begged leaning slightly off of his seat. “And you have to promise not to hate me.”

“I promise. I could never hate you.” Sam smiled.

“As do I. What the fuck have you done that’s so bad?” Bobby said resting back into the chair.

“Well, you’ve been wondering why I’m out all night. It’s not because I have a girlfriend. I- I have a-” Dean stuttered, looking at his feet. He began to sweat. “I have a boyfriend.” He quickly spilled out.

Everyone was silent. The silence was unbearably deafening, and it made Dean feel uncomfortable.

“Say something… Please.”

“You mean you’re – ” Sam insisted.

“Yep.” Dean stood up in awkwardness.

“How long have you known?” Sam questioned.

“A year, maybe less.” Dean fumbled around the table for another cigarette.

Bobby arose and walked over to Dean. He stared at him for a few seconds like he was trying to figure out who Dean really was. He laughed and embraced Dean into his chest. He patted him on the back before holding him out in front of him.

“You boy are full of surprises.” Bobby chuckled to himself.

“So you guys don’t hate me?” Dean lamented.

“Of course not, You’re family, we love you no matter what.” Sam shook Dean’s hand and slapped his back. “So who’s the lucky fella?” Sam winked.

“Castiel Novak.”

“The dork Gordon always causes trouble with?” Sam frowned.

“That’s him, he’s amazing Sam, you need to meet him properly, you’ll love him.” Dean prompted.

“I don’t know Dean, Gordon is not going to be happy about –”

“Gordon isn’t going to find out. No one is. Ok?” Dean got in Sam’s face in a threatening manner. “I do not want to ruin this relationship, what I have is good, it’s like you and Jess. I already feel like I want to be with him for the rest of my life.”

“You really like this kid then huh?” Bobby grunted pouring himself a glass of Whiskey. “Invite him round for tea after the Christmas ball. He can stay here the night. I mean, if you want to?”

“Oh Bobby I’d love to, thank you so much!” Dean smiled.

Family meant everything to Dean since he didn’t have much, Sam and Bobby accepting him was the most important thing to him and now they want him round for dinner. Dean felt elated with joy and walked back to his room. He lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling. Things were finally starting to go his way for once.

And it felt prodigious.

 

* * *

 

 

**December 21 st 1980**

 

After having been accepted by his family, Dean found it easier to interact with Cas around school; he would speak to him in the hall and outside. Dean told Cas about Bobby requesting him to stay round, Cas felt a bit afflictive at first but soon settled to the fact he has to meet Bobby sometime or another. However Cas still felt uneasy about telling his mom about his sexuality as he knew she probably wouldn’t take it as well as Bobby and Sam did. It was getting closer to Christmas, Cas usually loved Christmas, decorating the house and tree but when it’s over he has the heinous memories of losing his Father on New year’s Eve. Cas wasn’t planning on going to the Christmas Ball but after being asked to go by Meg and Dean, he corporeally couldn’t reject, besides he wanted to see Dean in a suit. Cas had to go suit shopping with his mom as the only suit he owned was the one he wore for his Father’s funeral. He wanted to appear his best for Dean and look classier than Dean would.

“Shouldn’t he be here by now?” Hester traipsed as she adjusted Cas’ tie.

“Mom, why are you getting so flustered for, it’s just a stupid dance.”

“Because I feel like my boy is growing up, and going to his first dance.” Hester cupped her hands around her mouth and nose.

“Don’t even bother crying. I don’t want patches on my suit.” Cas laughed excoriating his mother’s back.

“I’m sorry Castiel. You’ll understand when you have kids.”

Cas rolled his eyes awkwardly as he brushed his hand slowly over his hair.

“I think I put too much wax in my hair. This suit looks too big, Oh mom do I look ok because I feel like –”

“Now you’re the one panicking.” Hester chuckled. A car horn sounded in the distance. “I think Dean is here to give you a ride.”

Cas’ heart thumped, he was nervous but didn’t know why. It wasn’t like he was going to be going as Dean’s date or dancing with Dean, Just going home with him. Cas glanced in the mirror one last time before hesitatingly leaving his room. He listened to the heel of his shoes percuss the marble stairs and flooring as he opened the front door.

“Have fun sweetie!” Hester grabbed Cas’ face and kissed his cheek.

“Mom!” Cas wiped his cheek with his sleeve. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Cas turned around pulling the door to and stopped. Dean was leaning against his car in an all-black suit with a rose gently fluctuating in his fingers. Cas gulped, Dean actually turned Cas on in a suit. Cas loosened his tie so he could swallow effectively as Cas leisurely stepped towards Dean.

“You look…” Dean paused admiringly at Cas as he walked down the porch steps towards him. “Amazing.” Dean whispered as he was touching distance away from him.

“You too. I never thought I’d see you in a suit.” Cas teased.

“It’s your fault I’m in a suit.” Dean mocked stepping closer to Cas.

“How is it?” Cas cocked his head inhaling Dean’s musky scent.

“Because I’d do anything to make you happy... even wear a stupid fucking suit.” Dean hushed into Cas’ ear, Kissing his cheek moving backwards. “Come on let’s go or we’ll be late. Oh this is for you by the way.” Dean handed Cas the rose. “I was going to give it to Lisa like I do every year but this year you’re my date.” Dean winked, sliding into his car.

Cas shook his head sniffing the flower and placed it into his top pocket. Cas pulled the door open and rocked in.

“Kiss me.” Cas mouthed to Dean.

Dean’s eyes went soft and flickered from Cas’ eyes to his lips. Dean tilted his head and settled his lips onto Cas’. Cas squeezed his eye lids shut. He missed Dean’s kisses, he felt like he hadn’t been kissed at all, every time Dean unlocked his lips Cas just urged for more.

“Happy?” Dean smirked. Cas nodded as Dean kissed him again. “Right let’s go now. We’ll save the rest for tonight.” Dean bit his lip turning on the engine and reversing off the drive.

Cas reached for Dean’s cassette player and turned it on. “Let’s see what you’re listening to.”

The Beatles came on, playing ‘I want to hold your hand’. Cas turned to look at Dean.

“What, I like them?” Dean laughed, avoiding eye contact with Cas.

“Remember how you said you didn’t like them?” Cas edged his body sideways to face Dean.

“Yeah ok, don’t rub it in. It’s not a bad thing that I like them though is it?”

“Do you know the words though, that’s the main question here?” Cas giggled leaning over to kiss Dean on the cheek.

“No… maybe… I don’t know!” Dean hid his face from Cas.

“Oh please say to me, you’ll let me be your man!” Cas encouraged, moving closer to Dean.

“And please say to me, you’ll let me hold your hand!” Dean joined in laughing as he did so.

Cas laughed swaying his body and clapping to the rhythm of the song.

“And when I touch you I feel happy inside.” Cas grasped Dean’s hand and began stroking and kissing it.

“It’s such a feeling that my love, I can’t hide!” Dean jolted squeezing Cas’ knee to make him wriggle.

“I can’t hide! I can’t hide!” They both sang together laughing back into their seats.

Cas and Dean weren’t particularly good at singing but they were doing it together which made Cas happy. They were having fun and joking around, the kind of relationship Cas longed for.

“Ok fine, I’ll quit it, I’m glad you like them now, it means we can listen to them more together.”

“As opposed to all the time anyway?” Dean smirked as he pulled up into the school car park.

“No not all the time… It just happens to be most of the time.” Cas arched around to face his back against Dean.

Dean cut the engine and leaned over to begin kissing Cas’ neck. Cas reached up to Dean’s face and enticed his mouth further into his neck.

“Ok, you go before me.” Dean suddenly stopped and provocatively sucked his lip in front of Cas.

“Fine, I’ll see you out here after.” Cas hopped out of the car and could already hear the music drowning the school hall. Cas turned round and grinned at Dean as he exited the car.

Cas pushed the door open to see the Head with some students that most likely spiked the punch. Some couples were making out against the bathroom door and in the corner, not being subtle. Cas walked into the main hall and his eyes widened. It was just as he imagined it to be, a band at the end of the room playing classic 70’s music and Christmas songs, there was a huge disco ball suspended above the dance floor, Christmas decorations and a huge snack table. Nearly everyone was dancing, other than the odd few people with no friends sat on the tables comfort eating. Cas wondered why they even came; he never went to school dances because he had no friends.

“Hey you!” Meg skipped over and hugged Cas. “You made it!” She smiled. “Let me look at you.” She grabbed Cas’ hand and spun him round.

“Really Meg? Surely I should be checking you out.” Cas laughed.

“Well take a good look sugar.” Meg’s locks curled around her breast. She was wearing a purple tinted dress with one shoulder strap. She looked beautiful.

“You look… wow!” Cas praised, smiling.

“You want to dance?” Meg tugged at Cas’ sleeve.

“Maybe later, I’m going to have a look around.”

“Ok, well I’ll be here!” Meg pulled out a flask and chugged from it before placing it comfortably in between her breasts.

Cas walked towards the tables and scanned for the people sat down. He admired every one dancing, they all looked so happy and it made Cas smile. He saw Gabriel sipping from a plastic cup watching the dancers.

“Hey Gabe.” Cas sat down next to him. “You ok?”

“I don’t know why I even come to these things. Meg made me come. It depresses me at how everyone here has someone to dance with and someone to have a good time with. I have no one, not even Meg! She’s all over Balthazar… or you!” Gabriel sighed adjusting his collar.

Cas felt bad for Gabriel, he was such a good guy, he made Cas feel welcome but Cas would feel weird if he were to dance with Gabriel. Cas watched the dancers and then noticed Lisa swaddling Dean. She was laughing and pulling his face close down to hers. She held his hands and danced. Cas was jealous, he could feel his face start to burn and he had a sudden urge to break them up.

“Fuck it.” Cas muttered. “Want to dance?” Cas stood up and placed his hand out.

Gabriel looked up and smiled taking Cas’ hand. Cas led him to the dance floor and angled himself so he could see Dean and Lisa perfectly. They began dancing, and it was actually quite fun. Cas and Gabriel laughed and joked about before Meg stumbled over to them.

“You know what guys.” Meg slurred. “I love you both, you are both amazing. Thank you.” Meg kissed Cas on the cheek and then Gabriel.

“Ok let’s sit you down.” Gabriel said pulling Meg away from them.

Cas looked over to Dean to see he was already staring. His eyes narrowed onto Dean’s and Dean licked his lips. Dean pushed Lisa away and started walking towards Cas.

“No, no I’m fine honestly!” Meg walked back to Cas and put her arm around his neck.

Dean stopped and just watched Cas and Meg. Meg placed her hands on Cas’ shoulders as slow music started. Cas eyeballed Lisa and she walked round to Dean and swathed her arms around his neck. Dean and Cas still made eye contact and Dean’s hands slipped around Lisa’s waist. Cas reacted and slowly dragged his hands behind Meg’s waist.

“Thank you Cas.” Meg looked up to Cas. “For everything. For being my friend. For putting up with me and my drunkenness and giving me a second chance.”

“Meg. You’re like my best friend I’m not going to leave you that quickly.” Cas ran his fingers through her hair.

“You have no idea how much that means to me. I really hope you don’t move school anytime soon.” Meg’s eyes filled with tears.

Cas pulled Meg into his chest. “Nor do I Meg. Nor do I.” Cas closed his eyes and rested his head onto Meg’s swaying to the music.

Dean’s heart ached at the attention Cas was giving Meg and it made him feel uncomfortable. He felt uncomfortable dancing with Lisa and looking at her. All he wanted to do was dance with Cas and comfort him like a good boyfriend should. It made Dean endure bereavement. Just as the more cheerful music came on Dean moved back from Lisa and Cas noticed.

“I’m sorry Lisa. I have to go.” Dean ambulated backwards slowly out of the main hall.

“I’ll be right back Meg.” Cas kissed her forehead and headed out after Dean. Cas ran into the hallway and saw Dean walking towards the front of school. “Dean!” Cas shouted. “Where are you going?”

“I thought this would be a good idea. I really did. But it’s like torture. It might just be me but…” Dean looked at his feet and swallowed. “I hate seeing you like that with someone else.”

“You and me both.” Cas slightly smiled. “I despise Lisa, but I put up with it because I know we can’t be like that. And as for me and Meg. We’re just friends Dean.”

“That’s not what it looked like to me.” Dean clenched his jaw muscles, Cas could see he was getting angry and it was surprisingly sexy.

“She’s my best friend Dean. Don’t start on me when nothing has ever happened between me and Meg. How do you think I feel knowing you and Lisa have fucked?” Cas shook his head. “I’m sorry baby… but you know I’d never want to make you feel jealous.”

“I’m not jealous!” Dean shouted scaring Cas, completely avoiding Cas’ statement about him and Lisa.

The bathroom door swung open revealing a very drunk Gordon. He stumbled out and Dean stepped back.

“Oi Dean. This kid bothering you?” Gordon trembled over with Ash and Harry.

“Oh no, it’s fine I was just leaving anyway.” Dean gulped and eyed Cas to walk out.

“You sure?” Gordon clenched his fist around Cas’ jacket.

“Get off me.” Cas reacted and tried to be relieved.

Gordon swung his arm still attached to Cas’ jacket and flung him into the lockers. Gordon kneeled down to Cas whose face was now bleeding and grabbed his hair.

“What the fuck did you say to me?” Gordon spat in Cas’ face.

“I said… Get off me!” Cas spat back.

“You asked for it now.” Gordon pulled Cas’ head back.

“Leave him alone Gordon. He hasn’t done anything wrong!” Dean intercepted Gordon’s target. “Just leave him be. Please.”

“What’s wrong with you Man?” Gordon released Cas. “You used to be one of us, not some dick sucker. Come on.” Gordon ordered the others to follow him.

“Cas baby are you ok?” Dean grabbed Cas’ cheeks. “I’m taking you back to mine now so we can get you cleaned up.” Dean flicked away a drop of blood trickling down his finger.

Dean lifted Cas up and assisted him walking to Dean’s car. Dean jumped in the other side and Cas was already asleep.

 

* * *

 

Dean pulled up outside his house and stared at Cas sleeping. Dean enjoyed looking at Cas whilst he was napping; he concentrated on his facial features and would relive how beautiful he was over and over again. It made Dean feel serendipitous at the fact that Cas was all his, he didn’t deserve him. Dean placed his hand on Cas’ head and fondled with his hair as Cas wriggled. Cas’ eyes opened gradually, he lethargically stretched his arms out and felt Dean’s lips press against his palm.

“Hi.” Dean whispered “Did you sleep ok?”

“Um, yeah I guess.” Cas sat up and squinted his eyes. The right side of his face was red and had the pattern of Dean’s seat imprinted onto his cheek where he was resting. Cas scratched his head to pat down his bed hair he had retrieved. “Thank you.”

“What for?” Dean leaned in.

“For protecting me.”

“I’m your boyfriend. I’m not just going to stand there and watch him attack you when you haven’t done anything!” Dean covered Cas’ hands with his own.

“You’re my boyfriend?”

“Of course I am. What else would I be?” Dean laughed awkwardly.

“The love of my life.” Cas looked down and smiled to himself.

Dean’s eyes smiled towards Cas. He arose Cas’ chin and kissed him. He released himself and rested his forehead against Cas’ whilst playing with his ears.

 “Well then, you ready to meet Bobby?” Dean changed subject kissing Cas again.

“I think so. I’m nervous.” Cas inelegantly placed his hands into his pockets.

“Don’t be nervous. Honestly Bobby is like my father, I want him to like you just as much as I do. So just be you. Don’t be scared.” Dean reached over Cas to open the door. “Out you get.” Dean chuckled before getting out of the car himself.

Cas stood still by the car; Dean huffed and slumped round to grab Cas by the hand.

“Don’t be a baby Castiel.” Dean sternly stared at Cas.

Dean pulled Cas and opened the front door. Dean rocked his head to the right influencing Cas to follow him. Cas took a deep breath to reassure himself that everything was going to be ok. He stepped inside to see that their house was quite small. Smaller than Cas’ place, there was no upstairs. The living room, dining room and kitchen were all within one small area. Cas looked to the left and saw a man sat on the sofa, wearing dirty uniform and a cap, holding a glass of whiskey. Cas presumed that was Bobby from Dean’s description. Dean coughed and Bobby turned his head. He stood up slowly resting his whiskey onto the side table.

“Hi, I’m Bobby. I’ve heard a lot about you.” Bobby placed his greasy hand out for Cas to shake.

“Cas. I’ve heard a lot about you too!” Cas regrettably shook his hand and immediately wanted to wash the conveyed tallow off of his hand.

“Good things I hope.” Bobby chuckled to himself and then there was silence. It was uncomfortable for both Cas and Dean. “Anyway,” Bobby coughed. “I’m taking Sam over to Jess’ tonight and then I have a lady friend to visit.”

“What lady friend?” Dean nudged Bobby playfully.

“Never you mind. She came into the garage yesterday and we hit it off. She told me to come by after her daughter is asleep. Which is now.” Bobby wiped down his top. “You two behave.” Bobby rose his eyebrows.

Dean and Cas both laughed.

“You are going to change though right?” Dean eased into conversation; he took the words straight from Cas’ mouth.

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” Bobby appraised himself. “Cas you think I look fine right?” Bobby looked to Cas for guidance.

Cas shook his head dismally.

“Oh well, at least you’re honest. I guess I should change.” Bobby laughed.

“Is this your first date with her?” Cas quietly spoke.

“I guess you could say that.” Bobby looked confused at Cas, as did Dean.

“Well you should wear a shirt. Always wear a shirt on the first date, it shows your passionate side, trust me, she’ll think more highly of you if you do.”

“Thanks Cas. He’s a keeper.” Bobby grinned, smacking Dean on the back.

“Come on, let’s find Sam and then we can go to my room.”  Dean lead Cas round the kitchen to a closed door and knocked. “Sammy? Can I come in?”

“Yeah!”

Dean opened to door and pulled Cas in behind him. Sam’s room was duller than Cas imagined it to be, he had a lot of books and vinyl’s.

“Sam you know Cas.” Dean stepped aside to show off Cas.

“Hi Sam.” Cas reached out his hand. But Sam didn’t shake it.

“Sam.” Dean growled. “Cas is trying to be polite. You could at least co-operate.”

“I’m sorry.” Sam shook Cas’ hand feebly. “I’m just not used to this yet. It’s weird. What if people at school find out?”

“Sam. No one is going to find out because you’re not going to say anything.” Dean placed his hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Cas is a good guy, so am I and we are happy. If you tell anyone without my consent, I will literally rip your throat out.”

“Ouch.” Sam laughed pushing Dean. “Nice seeing you Cas.” Sam barged out of the room. “Bobby I’m ready to go!” He shouted.

“He’s a fucking idiot Cas. I’m sorry.” Dean’s head collapsed onto Cas’ shoulder.

“It’s fine, really.” Cas giggled.

“Let’s go to my room.” Dean said excitedly as he grasped Cas again from his wrist.

Cas could tell which room was Dean’s as there was dents in his door, which were clearly punch marks from when Dean had become angry. His room was full of posters of cars. He had a desk concealed with empty cigarette boxes and fag butts.

“I didn’t know you smoked.” Cas puzzled, glanced at Dean.

“Only when I’m tired, or stressed.” Dean muttered falling onto his bed in the centre of the room.

Cas rolled his eyes and fell onto Deans bed next to him. He turned his head to look at Dean who was already looking at him. Dean’s vision kept roaming from Cas’ eyes to his lips. Cas smiled and licked his lips. Dean smiled back and began stroking Cas’ face. Cas wanted to cry at how happy he was. He realised he had everything he could possibly want and he never wanted it to go. Knowing that he was with Dean made him feel impervious, like he was invincible. He felt completely comfortable around Dean and would do anything to please him, but at this point he felt like he would never be able to leave him. Even if he coerced to. Cas moved closer to Dean and nuzzled his head into Dean’s collar bones. Dean placed his hand firmly on Cas’ back.

“What do you think about me Dean?” Cas breathed onto Dean’s skin.

“I think you’re an amazing person.” He kissed Cas’ head. “You’re funny.” He kissed him again. “You’re smart.” He ruffled Cas’ hair with his nose. “And I think that I am falling in love with you.”

Cas’ head rose off of Dean’s chest. He felt soft and warm. Dean’s hand slowly descended up to Cas’ face. He squeezed his face delicately with the index of his fingers and Dean leaned in and kissed Cas. Cas kissed him back and placed his hand into Dean’s hair, tugging gently. Dean’s tongue slid softly into Cas’ mouth and circled Cas’ tongue as Cas kissed it. Cas could feel Dean’s head start to become moist and so he tugged his hair harder. Dean urged his tongue deeper into Cas’ mouth. Cas could start to feel his dick harden and push against his tight trousers which made him ache.

“I’m so hot.” Cas lowered his face taking a deep breathe. “So are you by the looks of it.” Cas giggled.

Dean pushed Cas further up the bed and started to undo his tie and so Cas un did Dean’s. Dean started to speed up as he worked his way down the buttons on Cas’ shirt revealed Cas’ skin, soft and clean. Dean pulled Cas out of his shirt and sat on top of Cas’ now more painful crotch, Cas just wanted to get his pants off before the pain became unbearable. Dean un-buttoned his shirt and slipped it off throwing it across the room. Dean leaned down and began kissing Cas’ neck. He nipped, sucked and licked at his tender skin. Cas’ hips started thrusting slightly up and down, to which Dean complied to. Cas’ hands wondered around Dean’s back and they rocked against each other. Cas moaned slightly gripping Dean’s hips. Dean released himself from Cas’ neck and lightly kissed his lips before sliding down. Dean placed his hand onto Cas’ aching crotch and rubbed it gently.

“You horny baby?” Dean playfully hushed putting more pressure onto Cas’ cock.

Cas nodded pulling at Dean’s now messy hair.

“You want me to take your pants off?” Dean grinned kissing the bulge in Cas’ pants.

Cas nodded again, squeezing Dean’s head with the tips of his fingers.

Dean un-did the buckle on Cas’ belt and pulled down the zipper revealing Cas’ boxers. Dean licked along his boxer line. He moved back up to Cas’ mouth and sucked his lips before licking down the nape of his neck. He transitioned his tongue from Cas’ neck down past his nipples to which he kissed and around his belly button to his boxers. Dean’s fingers hooked underneath Cas’ pants and boxers and pulled them down. Cas sighed at the relief of his cock. The sensation Cas was feeling made his fingers curl into Dean’s mattress. Dean’s fingers mildly settled onto Cas’ cock and Cas’ instinct was to fuck himself into Dean’s gentle touch.

“Shit!” Cas squeezed his eyes shut as his back arched off of the bed.

“Easy now. We don’t want you to finish yet, we’ve just started baby.” Dean tenderly kissed up the spine of Cas’ cock.

Dean wrapped his lips around the top of Cas’ cock and began sucking it slowly. Once Dean saw that Cas was easing he began bobbing his head. Dean began to un-do his own pants while sucking Cas’ cock. He pulled his boxers down until they rested at the end of Dean’s ankles. Dean felt Cas’ cock tense and watched Cas’ face tighten as he came into Dean’s mouth. The warm liquid trickled down Dean’s mouth and so he quickly swallowed.

“I don’t normally suck dick. But seeing as it was your first time, I wanted to do it.” Dean moved up and shifted his weight back onto Cas as he started dragging his dick slowly against Cas’.

Cas’ fingers intertwined Dean’s hair and he pulled his face down to Cas’. Cas pushed his tongue in between Dean’s lips and licked the insides of Dean’s mouth; like he wanted to taste his own cum. Dean continued retting against Cas’ cock. Cas whimpered as Dean sped up the pace in a steady rhythm. Cas’ body felt tight, and he had to move his hands onto Dean’s shoulders before he pulled Dean’s hair out.  Cas turned his head away as Dean pressed his head into Cas’ collar bones and tucked himself behind his neck. Dean’s mouth opened and he groaned as Cas stroked up Dean’s torso. Seconds later Dean was coming, he forced his face into the crook of Cas’ neck and grunted quietly, releasing cum onto Cas’ stomach. Cas wound his arm around Dean and pressed his face into his hair out of breath.

“Fuck.” Dean breathed heavily onto Cas’ temple.

Dean rolled off of Cas and handed him tissue from the side of his bed.

“Thank you.” Cas softly spoke whilst removing the cum that had begun to harden onto his skin.

“There’s plenty more where that came from.” Dean laughed through his breath.

Cas rolled over and slid his arm around Dean’s waist. They sighed into each other’s faces and Dean kissed Cas’ forehead.

“Let’s stay here forever.” Cas whispered onto Dean’s neck. “Please.” He said delicately into Dean’s eyes.

“That’s a long time Cas.” Dean said stroking Cas’ damp hair. “Forever is a long way to come.”

“I want to spend my forever with you Dean.” Cas kissed Dean’s chin.

“So do I baby.”

They kissed and embraced each other. And there they lay, naked in each other’s arms, all night long.

 


End file.
